So I'm usually stressed out at Christmas-time. And as a consequence, I get moody and irritable, and don't get to enjoy the moment.
I did things a little differently this year...
After a month on my new job at the North End Rehab Center, I'm finally getting the hang of the place. I picked up a couple extra nights during each of the 2 weeks prior to Christmas, and even though it brought in good money, I really had no time to do anything for the holiday. And I needed to rely on help from my boys at home...Bob, Andrew and Thomas. I don't like to have them decorate, and it's Mom's job usually. But I decided I needed them to do it or it wouldn't get done at all, and I had so much on my plate as it was.
It took Bob about 5 days to put the tree up. I had bought it and stuck it out on the back porch exactly a week before Christmas. Got a good deal, $25 for any tree in the garden centers lot. Then the next day, he put up the lights...he just laid them over the tree, you can see every wire. Andrew and Thomas hung up all the cards, and put about 12 ornaments on the branches (I have about 6 storage boxes of ornaments) and put up the stockings (one brass hanger was missing, so they hung the cats stocking off the end table with a plastic pink hanger. I found the brass one, so the cats joined the rest of ours on the bookshelf).
I was going to bake cookies too, with Thomas, so Santa would have homemade on his plate. And I wanted to bring some to work that night (I was working Christmas) and to my Mother-in-laws the next day. Well a bakery run on Xmas Eve, decided it for me...they had perfectly lovely gingerbread men that fit the bill, along with dessert and other treats I could bring to the Cape next day. Work would have to go without. More time saved for more important things.
Bob and Thomas helped me wrap gifts...no ribbons, no bows. I took care of the relatives gifts myself.
Bob also took care of Thomas, did laundry, dishes, and Andrew took care of Thomas and himself. We didn't have any homecooked food that past week, except one crockpot of pot roast. No matter.
We never put up Xmas lights and I slapped a real wreath up on the gate ($4.99 at Stop and Shop, on sale) and the wreath I made years back, went on the front door Dec. 24th. One candle went into one of the front windows.
I sent out only 19 cards this year, as opposed to the 52 I usually send. And not everyone got a Xmas letter. The lines were out the door at the Post Office most of the time these last 2 weeks. I ended up buying my stamps at a local convenience store. And even if they were not the Christmas themed I originally wanted, and even had a dream about recently (very Freudian as I had been worried I wouldn't get the cards mailed on time), still...they got the job done.
When I got home Christmas morning, we opened gifts (the boys had already started and I never bothered putting the rule down for waiting for me to get home 1st, like I usually do), and then afterwards, slept for a couple hours and then we went to the Cape. Dinner was wonderful, and delicious. As a surprise, some of Bob's relatives came to his mom's house for dessert, cousins he hasn't seen in more than a few years. And 3 I hadn't met before. THAT was great!
I was exhausted on the way home later that evening, and had failed to get more gas, and then realized we needed to, but nothing was open. But we had enough as long as we kept up the pace, then "Murphy's Law" kicked in and when we got to 93 north, there'd been an accident ahead that stopped traffic! Now I REALLY needed gas. Got off somewhere in Dorchester, (I frequently read about shootings there, and as a result, I never go in there), and we drove around looking for a station, and I was very nervous and increasingly upset that we may get stuck there. And just when the gas light came on and I was driving on fumes, we found 2 gas stations open and I coasted into one and filled the tank. Got back on 93 and found we were just one exit away from the tunnel, and were home within 10 minutes, go figure! hahaha. But other than that we had a good time.
I let the boys do alot for me this week, and it wasn't perfect (by my standards anyways), but you know? I shouldn't say that, cuz it WAS perfect. They did it, and even tho Martha Stewart would've died seeing it... the lights were on the tree, and MOST of them were lit, hahaha. And some ornaments made it onto the tree, and with the candles I lit all over the living room, and the paper snowflakes I had made earlier and hung all over the ceiling, it was very BEAUTIFUL, and they were proud to have been allowed to do it themselves and in their way and I never had to repeat a request and sometimes they did things all on their own. It really was wonderful!
And the Boys all got along. No arguing or fighting over ANYTHING. My love for them and appreciation in all their participation and work, made it for me, a very stress free day. The BEST Christmas gift I ever received.
I also got a nice surprise from my neice, Erin, all the way down in Virginia...a package of yummy homemade cookies and fudge. Santa could have homemade on his plate after all.
So in conclusion, I have to say that it's not about lowering my standards. I will still aim for the best I can do. But now, I realize being the best doesn't always mean being perfect.
Perfect results happen when you feel at peace as you look around you. Seeing the happiness your children and spouse feel because they helped out and you didn't complain and you praised their efforts and deemed it beautiful. Because it was beautiful.
Perfectionism is overrated.
"A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year."
~Edgar Guest, American Poet (1881-1959)
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